The Politics of Buce

The Politics of Buce is a Buce match report from friends of Drew Cowens- Dick and Jane.

Episode 1

Dick- Hi Jane

Jane- Hi Dick

D- Isn’t it great that the 2011 Buce league is now in full swing?

J- It is great Dick – but there are a few things I don’t get

D- What’s on your mind Jane

J- Why are the matches this league so close and interesting?

D- The Buce league introduced the League Balance Strategy as part of a development strategy. It looks like it has worked based upon the ever increasing crowd numbers.

J- That was quite astute by the boys pulling the leavers. A bit like in 2000 when George W Bush didn’t get enough votes to win the US presidential election. Things were not going in the direction he wanted so he just changed the rules by arranging for his friends and relatives in the courts and government to declare some votes for the other candidate invalid and to allow votes from dead people and people in prison to count for him.

D- Now I see - the 2011 Buce league is just like Australian federal politics. With no clear dominant force, nobody knows what results will be obtained and all the less powerful players now believe they have a chance at glory.

J- Even those not directly involved can see that by making enough noise, they can panic those previously at the top into backdowns and concessions. I heard that the government has agreed to give huge concessions to the big polluters because of the carbon tax. Struggling little companies like BHP Billiton are in line for billions.

D- But I thought the whole idea was to put a monetary value on the pollution so that people would have an incentive to pollute less and to reward activity like tree planting which was actually carbon positive.

J- A bit like giving Alec Forbes 5 points for scoring an own Buce.

D- I thought it was great that Charlie randomly gave out flower to the crowd in the opening round

J- It was certainly a very sporting gesture. Do you think he had an ulterior motive?

D- Do you mean like the registered clubs saying that without their hordes of problem gamblers they would not be viable and wouldn’t be able to give money to junior sport?

J- Maybe Buce should seek sponsorship from Customs House – they have pokies and all licensed premises are required by law to give 1.5% of all profit from poker machines over $1M to charity.

D- So if Customs House sucks $1M out of the punters pockets they contribute less to charity than Dane McMahon-Squires contributes to a Buce game.

J- But that is virtually nothing at all Dick

D- Are you feeling positive about the future Jane?

J- Well I heard Charlie say that he has reached a new level of Buce play

D- Do you think it is true that he will be playing next week’s game blindfolded?

J- Maybe. I hear there will be women serving on the front line soon so anything is possible

D- Maybe they could trial women integrating into the Buce league

J- Wilson Leung is playing again so there is obviously no minimum standard required.

D- Better go Dick – see you May Day for Buce round four.

J- See you Jane – I hope your fortnight is more successful than Tre Clifford‘s Tomahawk attempts last week against Toecutters.

Episode 2

Dick- Hi Jane

Jane- Hi Dick

D- What did you think of the final round double header?

J- I loved it Dick – but got a sore neck from trying to watch all the action

D- Yeah – it was great but there were a few things that have been playing on my mind

J- What’s eating you Dick

D- Buce has always had the passion of origin because of the mate against mate match ups

J- That’s true Dick – there has also been some serious familiar rivalry as well

D- That’s just it Jane. We now have Theo and Keith Rogers both playing for the Toe Cutters. It is a bit like the alliance between the three Federal independents and the ALP. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time but if the strange bedfellows tire of each other, the damage will be felt far and wide.

J- Anything is possible Dick. Australia and Malaysia are now in bed with their asylum seeker policy and the UN Human Rights mob have now given them a big thumbs up and promised them a clean pair of sheets.

D- A bit like the old Arabic proverb Jane - the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

J- Guess so Dick. Do you think loyalty is dead in the world of buce Dick?

D- Well I did wonder when I heard Tre ask if he could rejoin Blek moments after the team that he left Blek to join just got smacked by Blek.

J- What did the Blek leadership group decide?

D- They said sure and wanted to know if he was available for the semis next week.

J- I guess bucers like Tre don’t come along every day Dick

D- Loyalty might be sickly Jane but love and affection seem to be flowin’

J- How so Dick?

D- Well I heard Charlie compliment Alec by saying ‘well done Alec for staying firm’

J- Was that during a game or just general conversation

D- During the game

J- Charlie handles his men so well and he has a way with his mouth that is quite special

D- He certainly has a well earned reputation Jane.

J- Will you be at the buce awards night this year Dick?

D- Wouldn’t miss it. I hear Dane is making a huge charge for defender of the year.

J- He has always been a social soldier – seems like he is channelling that power into his buce game

D- Did you hear Hamish wants there to be some sort of award for most scores in a single game?

J- Not surprised Dick. He hit the bucket more times than Osama hit the headlines this week.

D- Messy business war Jane. Messy business indeed. No winners just a question of how big the losses are

J- I hear Glen Eveson will be back in Oz and available for the semis.

D- Should make for some interesting selection headaches

J- Certainly will Dick.

D- So see you next week for the semis Jane

J- See you then Dick – can’t wait to see Mitch Furner come together with Nick Scott

D- Certainly will make a pretty picture Jane. A real promoter’s dream to have two poster boys fully fit and buff and playing such powerful buce.