Editing Head to Head with The Philosopher (section)

==Round 7: Toecutters vs Hawks==

Match Report by The Philosopher 

The air hung heavy with the stench of rotting Blek.  Triumphant Sunflowers swayed contemptuously amid the carnage.  The blood letting of the curtain raiser had been a hors d’oevres for the crowd to nibble on, to get their gastric juices flowing in anticipation of the buce feast they were about to digest.  The spectacle that had smothered the dying breath of a pneumonic Blek had clearly unsettled the Hawk whose ‘war cry’ was embarrassingly camouflaged by their unmistakable fear and faecal gas that even had Theo Rogers dry reaching.   

Following last week’s honourable match – a true contest - against Strike Force, Knuckles Rogers had assembled the Toe Cutters and challenged them with the most fundamental and ubiquitous of all moral principles, the so called Golden Rule of morality – ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ was his taunt.  While being forced to come to grips with this notion was as painful to the Cutters as listening to Charlie pontificate on why a buce rule change is not really a change at all, this is what Knuckles had required and this is what the Cutters would deliver.   

In a pussy like attempt to appease public dignity, the match day referee delayed the start of the game to allow the mid afternoon nor-easter to provide some olfactory relief.  The metaphoric jugs of ice water were thrown by a roadie whose hopes and dreams rested upon his ability to distribute the ice evenly across the radiating mosh pit while still retaining hold of the jug. 

Once under way the game quickly deteriorated into handbags at 10 paces.  Neither side willing to step close enough to hit for fear of being hit.  By the time the first half ended, a paralysing silence had consumed the players.  Could this be the same Toe Cutter outfit that in recent weeks had redefined what it meant to play buce?  The same quartet that was filling corporate boxes and having hoteliers, tyre manufacturers and brothel operators excited again?  What was happening? 

Knuckles finally had the Cutters where he wanted them – finally had the Cutters ready to accept that buce was not a game played by individuals, but a team gig.  When he pronounced that there is no I in Toe Cutters, he had once again allowed the Toe Cutters to focus on their task.  And just as in 630 when Muhammad had said ‘hurt no one so that no one may hurt you’, the Toe Cutters knew that it was foolhardy to be paralysed by an illogical fear.  The Hawks could not possibly hurt the Cutters in any way, it was simply illogical to think otherwise.  The Toe Cutters began to see the Hawks for who they really were.

     

Knuckles reminded the toe Cutters that not so distant cousins of golden rule flouters – those who wish to do but are less happy to be done by – are free riders, whose aim is to enjoy the benefit of being done by without incurring the cost of doing.  Workers who do not join a union but who benefit  from a pay rise won by union action; countries that make no effort to reduce their carbon emission but benefit from collective international agreements to do so.   

The Hawks were not behaving respectfully and were therefore not entitled to respect.  There was no Strike Force like quality to be admired about the Hawks.  For the Toe Cutters to fall on our own swords and thus allow the Hawks through to the semi-finals would be a cruel blow to the buce world.  No – that would simply not do.  It was time for the Toe Cutters to return to the only way to play buce – with honour and with courage. 

Not surprisingly the second half was a bruising affair.  The Toe Cutters piled on the scoring and dignity was restored.  At one point the Hawks desperate to score a buce, attempted an own goal but unfortunately for them it was off their own serve so graciously disallowed. 

Having now dispensed with the preliminary work, the Toe Cutters have now steeled themselves to warm up against Scourge in the semi final before moving through the finals and planting our flag on GF2 in such a way that no-one is left guessing. 
 

Semi final against Scourge followed by the qualifying final - bring it on – bring it on.